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We live in an era where there is a literal need to redefine what friendship is. What camaraderie is about.
We live in a system where we associate so many things with these notions, they are feeling way closer to a marriage, a contractual obligation and an attachment than an expression of sentiment. While, if I allow myself to make you remember, a relationship is, in fact, the statement of a state of heart. "He/She is my friend, we love each other"

What love is there behind a friendship constructed on fear? The fear of betrayal, the fear of loneliness, the fear of boredom, the fear of social inadequacy.
Why in any situation would there be a condition of time shared, explicit respect of behavior or even expected presence in a love based relationship? Let be clear, no condition, not even the necessity to have met the person, would be a requirement to a loving relationship, camaraderie included.

We are taught to create our bonds with and approach people that help us resolve our need, or more precisely, what we think we need. We are educated to seek and meet people who can "make us happy", "help us start a family", "increase our social circle", "who can teach us things", "who can get us stuff"... We are trained to believe that, at its core, a connection or any relationship is a commercial exchange. And thus, you never meet true individuals. You meet pieces of a human being, roughly compensating the ones you lacked the faith to grow in yourself.

What would be a good motivation to start a loving relationship, whatever the form? I'll give you an example through a letter.

"Hey, you! I like you. I like who you are. I know we never met, or maybe we did, maybe you remember, maybe not. But I really like what you chose your life to tell, I like your energy, I like your focuses, I like the way you perceive things. I like the way your heart works and the way it makes you walk.
What about sharing something together? What about sharing a drink? A day? A goal? An apartment? What about trying something for some time? Anything that is enriching for both of us. Either it will make us grow closer, or it may make us grow apart, but in any case, we'll grow and love.
Also, no string attached. YOU are expected, just you. Just be you, that's who I like, that's who I would love to walk at my side, construct with and have fun, whatever the shape or form that may be, and may or may not evolve !"

How complicated is that?
And you can send this to anybody for whom your heart feel the same way. Maybe they will respond, maybe not, but in either case, your attempt will be as loving as it can get. And any relationship born down this road will be as solidly anchored in this same energy and intention.

SO here you go lads and ladies, that's one example of how to start your best friendships, camaraderies, love stories, discussions, working experiences... and really anything loving involving a special ingredient who begins by "O" and finishing by "THERS".


Adrien Zanetta





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Photo crediting : Annie Spratt